this is so typically me..

i always seem to feel lonely in a crowded place, but feel so 'crowded' in a quiet, lonely place.. 

i'm now back in jakarta where my real family is.. i mean, i'm happy to see them, all my cousins..especially my lovely niece..but, my heart always seems to be hollow here..

i miss my brothers.. i miss my fortress of solitude..

what a nice weekend!

it was a long weekend coz monday was a holiday because it was indonesia's independence day.. 

i didn't hope too much that it was gonna be a fun weekend for me coz everybody was busy with their own businesses.. so i spent the whole saturday just eating, sleeping, watching tv & cleaning up the house a bit.. (the sleeping & watching tv had a bigger portion, of course..hihihi..).

waiting for mas hakim @ d office before going to Palembang

then it came dinner time, so i went to my brother's house to go eat. after we ate, they asked if i wanted to go karaoke.. OF COURSE i do!! so, the brother's (& sister) of house 330 went karaoke-ing.. after about 2 hours of false singing (except mas ephin who sings perfecto), i went to sleep with a big grin on my face..=)

i didn't do much on Sunday, pretty much doing the same ritual i do.. but the guys promised me that they would take me to Palembang on Monday to watch a movie.. did really wanna get my hopes high (coz i've been let down TWICE be them) but still i was excited for the next day!

@ PIM parking lot , with ampera bridge in the background.. can u see it?

the next day, things started a bit annoying coz mas yoma insisted that we should go to the Independence Ceremony.  good thing that the other guys didnt wanna go, so we only had to wait for him to go back untill we departed to Palembang. mas Satrio & his wife, Sisca decided that they wanted to join us.. so, that was nice.. THE MORE THE MERRIER..^^!!

we arrived @ Palembang at about 10.30 WIB, and went straight to PIM. i insisted to watch ICE AGE 3, but the guys didn't want to, so we chose to watch PUSH instead. fortunately, by the time we got there, PUSH already started, so it left us with only one choice, watch ICE AGE 3.. hurraaay!!! hihihi.. i knew it, good people always gets good things.. hahaha..

nothing like a cold scoop of ice cream at a hot day..^^

after that, we went to Internasional Plaza to watch MERANTAU.. i already warned the guys that this movie sucks, but they didn't believe me.. so oh well, i just waited til my point proved itself. and.. voila!! i was 100% right!! the movie was pointless!! VERY pointless.. ugh.. and they unwillingly admitted it.. hahaha..

before watching MERANTAU

anyway guys, another nice weekend for me.. thanks a bunch...^^!

I WANT A GUY..

who would make me LAUGH like NO ONE could

who would move the hair away from my eyes then kiss me

who would hold my hand in line at the mall & make all the girl jealous

who would SING to me at random moments

who would let me sleep at their chest

who would get mad at someone if they called me ugly or was mean to me

who would call me every night before i go to sleep

who would love to hear me sing, even with my false voice

who would know what i'm thinking without me having to have to say it

who would let me gossip to him and would just smile & agree with everything i said.. =)

who would throw stuffed animals to me when i acted dumb and then KISS ME a million times

who would make fun of me just to make me LAUGH

who would lend his shoulder for me to cry on

who would stay home with me on a friday night & help make dinner & watch movies together

and we'd argue about silly things then make up

but especially, who would be my best friend and would NEVER BREAK MY HEART

dear god, please give me inspiration!!!

ugh! i've got a deadline in two weeks to finish my report!! & there's nothing but a blank spot in my head.. 

need some inspiration.. need some enlightment.. need ideas.. need a vacation.. hohoho.. yup, a nice warm beach would be nice to refresh my thoughts & get inspirations..hhmm.. you wish dyta! where the hell could you find a beach around here?!

Here's a glimpse of my so called 'temporarily house' in prabumulih.. u should be able to imagine how lonely and quiet it is down here...

Front

View from the Porch

View of the right side (that's my neighbour's house)

This is the car i usually drive (when there's a loan), hehe..

Dont ask the view in the back.. it's a little bit spooky, so i didn't take any pictures back there..hihi...

A Day of Brotherhood

at the end, we didn't get any cars to loan, which means that our plan to have fun go mad in Palembang failed..huhuhu.. we didn't even get to go to the studio to take pictures with our wearpacks..boohoohoooo...='((

really desperate in doing something or going somewhere on a beautiful sunny saturday, i decided to go to the boys house to force them to take me out somewhere.. so, at approximately 12 pm, i entered a house full of dead bodies, no, actually full of bodies lying still.. they're all still sound asleep!! so i just went along, screaming around the house waking them up one by one, trying (again) to force them to take me out.. but, unfortunately, they were all too lazy to go anywhere, especially coz we didnt have any vehicle except one motorbike to take us around..

so, i ended up spending the day at their house, doing nothing in particular, trying to solve mas hakim's rubik cube (which i succeeded & made mas evin really envious and frustrated coz he couldn't solve it..huahahaha), looking at mas hakim's picture's in Japan & Thailand, watching tv, and just hanging 'round the house doin nothing.. 

mas evin being taught how to solve the rubik's cube by mas hakim

mas evin frustrated coz he couldn't solve it..huahaha...=))

oia! i also learned to ride a motorcycle (hooray!!). the first time i ever succeded in riding a motorcycle..hihi.. well, i actually learned it by accident. didn't really wanna learn to ride one, but because i was starving, and nobody really wanted to take me out to eat, after a couple minutes of debated who should take me out to eat, mas hakim finally lost, and took me out. unfortunately, he didn't want to ride the motorcycle, so he forced me to ride it myself, him sitting in the back. i then 'unwillingly' gathered up my courage and tried.. and i did it!! hurray!! well, i almost fell a couple of times, but didn't.. haha.. when we came back, i went around screaming around their house (i think it's becoming a habit of mine..=p), announcing to them that i successfully rode a motorcycle for the first time of my life...huahahaha..  eventhough their response was cold, like it was no big deal, i didn't care, it was a huge breakthrough for meeeeee! yay \(^o^)/ !!!!!!

after playing around the house doing nothing, it finally got dark, so we decided to go have dinner (by this time, we finally got a car to loan..hihi..). we planned to go eat at joglo, but when we arrived it was already closed (yes, at 8 pm!!). so we then chose to eat at lombok ijo.

the day ended up with me having a nice feeling of brotherhood (huahaha), and them probably bothered with my existance and squeeky voice...hohoho... prepare yourselves for another invasion boys!!! huahahahaha...=))

wew.. it's already more than half a year since i last blogged!! that means.. my internship is almost over!!! yesss!!!! hohoho..

ok ok, so lets recap the things that have happened since i left patra jasa..

#1. my first internship was in Jakarta, Kwarnas Building, Central Jakarta. didnt really have much to do than eat, sleep (really, we REALLY did sleep at the office!! haha.), browse whenever there's an idle computer, then go home.. that was pretty much what we did for about 2.5 months.. hehe..

                                                            @ Gedung Kwarnas

#2. our office moved to another buliding @ Menara Standard Chartered, South Jakarta. It's a pretty elite building with high security access. very cold air conditioning, & we can drink as much hot chocolate or coffee as we want.. haha.. the work, well, there are times when we wish we could have more time, but there are times when we hope time would soon pass by so we could go home to our warm beds..hehe..

  Menara StandChart From Plaza Semanggi

  @ Our Cubicle 

    

@ the common room where we drink up all the hot chocolate..^^

@ our cube again..

#3. the third and current situation i'm in is, my second phase internship, which takes hold in the remote area. i (people say luckily) got Prabumulih, South Sumatera, Ool got Jambi, and Keke got Rantau. I'll tell u the truth, the first night i slept alone in a lonely, abandoned house, i cried my tears out.. which means i couldn't sleep at all, resulting puffy eyes and a runny nose in the morning.. but, as time passes by, now i feel comfortable here, especially bcoz everybody is so welcome and nice to me... the work, well, pretty much the same..

  @ Rig H40D Merbau

me infront of the rig

@ NR, the one and only entertainment in Prabumulih..

We're planning to go to Palembang this Saturday to catch a movie.. if we can get anyone to lend us a car, that is.. hehe.. wish us luck..^^v!!

gOoDbye

i hate goodbye's.. it's always been hard for me to say goodbye, i'd prefer saying, "see u later" than goodbye. it has a more positive & optimistic meaning i guess..

i recently met new friends, a new community, that actually made my life 'brighter'.. but all of a sudden, just when we were beginning to get close, to know each other more, all was taken away from me again.. we all had to go our separate ways, for now.

but, i guess that's life.. there are meetings & separations, greetings & farewells, sadness & happiness, good & bad, everything has it balance..

just wish that we could have time to prepare the balance, so we wont have any regrets. but life would be to easy, huh?

anyways, see u later my dear friends, wish you the greatest luck & success!!!

this afternoon, kak keke and i went weekly shopping to carrefour.. eventhough we never tried it by ourselves before, we decided to take the 'metromini'..

after waiting for a few minutes our ride finally came, and we went on, although struggling to balance our feet coz the driver already started to drive before we had a chance to sit..

all was running well, when i remembered something.."how the hell do we say stop?!". I asked keke and she didn't know either.. is it "kiri mas..", "berhenti mas..", or what?

trying to figure out how to say it, we didn't realize that we almost missed our destination, keke & i panicked, "kak, dah nyampe kak!!!" finally, panickly, keke yelled, "bang! minggir bang!!!", the driver didn't hear her. "MINGGIIIIIRRRR!!!!!" , as soon as she shouted that, every single eye on the passengers head turned to us.. oh god, they must of thought, what kind of thug shouted? and after they realized it was two girls shouting, they turned in complete shock..

so, saving ourselves from humiliation, we hurried and got off the metromini, laughing hillariously at ourselves...=)

Happy New Year!!!

New year, new life, new beginning..

After all the dramas in my life last year, i (think) i've finally found an enlightment..

Hopefully, all will be good this year..

Starting with a new job, i hope my last years resolution will finally happen..=)

Just wait and see my big surprise...^.^

this past year, i think i've grown to become a very very sensitive person.. i dont know why, but it's seems that i always lose my patience in everything. and everyone.. hhmm..how time can change a person.. is it the time? or is it the people who i hang out with that changed me? they say, the people who are the closest to you represents yourself. so, if u reverse that, that should mean that i have became like the people close to me.. are they like that too?

a couple years ago, i used to be this patient girl, who never protests, who takes whatever is given to her.. now, i always seem to get mad easily, protest at everything, even with mom & dad.. i don't think i like being this way, but i just can help it..

sometimes i wish i could go back to the times when everything was nice, no quarrelling, no fighting, no feeling sad or left out..

is that what i just said? hhmm.. maybe that's probably why i easily get upset nowadays.. i'm feeling really left out..

i mean, i've always felt left out my whole life, with my friends, my bestfriends, even my relatives.. but i've never felt left out with my boyfriend.. until now..

yeah.. i guess that's why.. he doesn't care for me as much..

what should i do????

so, i've decided to give him another chance. people might think i'm stupid or weird. but what the heck, i love him, and i'm willing to take the risk.

i just hope & pray to god he wont take me for granted, and wont dissapoint me anymore.. amiiiinn..

Waking up to find another day

The moon got lost again last night

But now the sun has finally had its say, I guess I feel alright

But it hurts when I think, when I let it sink in, it’s all over me

I’m lying here in the dark, it hurts a lot

And all I know is you’ve got to give me everything

Nothing less cause, you know I give you all of me

I give you everything that I am, I’m handing over everything that I’ve got

Cause I wanna have a really true love

Don’t ever wanna have to go and give you up

Stay up till four in the morning

And the tears are pouring

And I want to make it worth the fight

What have we been doing for all this time?

Baby if we’re gonna do it, come on do it right

All I wanted was to know I’m safe

Don’t want to lose the love I’ve found

Remember when you said that you would change

Don’t let me down

It’s not fair how you are

I can’t be complete

Can you give me more?

Oh please, you know what I need

We can’t escape the love

Give me everything that you have

hurt hurt hurt..it just wont go away..

dear god, please take my heart so it wont hurt me anymore...

HEARTBRAKE 2008

i never knew that heartbrake could feel this bad. all the hurt in the world cant describe the feeling i felt last wednesday. hurt,betrayed,stupid.. it felt like my heart was being stabbed over and over and over.. even now thinking of it brings tears in my eyes.. i just wanna dissappear.

how could you love but also hate a person so much u just wanna die?

he, the person i dearly loved, whom i gave my heart and soul, my mind, my body, every inch of me, betrayed me in such a way, i cant even explain. he took my trust, and ripped it all away..

after what happened, i feel like he became a totally different person. i feel like i dont know him anymore. or is it i never really known him?

maybe its karma. i broke someone's heart so bad before, and it finally came back to me. what goes around, comes around. but i really didnt expect it to come this soon.

how do you mend a broken heart? gosh, never really thought that i would ask that question. it seemed so cheesy. but now, i really do wanna know.

i feel so lonely, so empty, so stressed..

I love this song.. love the lyrics, love the melody, love the singer.. brilliant!

JUST LIKE A STAR

Just like a star across my sky,

Just like an angel off the page,

You have appeared to my life,

Feel like I'll never be the same,

Just like a song in my heart,

Just like oil on my hands,

Oh.. I do love you,

Still i wonder why it is,

I don't argue like this,

With anyone but you,

We do it all the time,

Blowing out my mind,

You've got this look i can't describe,

You make me feel like I'm alive,

When everything else is a fade,

Without a doubt you're on my side,

Heaven has been away too long,

Can't find the words to write this song,

Oh.,.. Your love,

Still i wonder why it is,

I don't argue like this,

With anyone but you,

We do it all the time,

Blowing out my mind,

I have come to understand,

The way it is,

It's not a secret anymore,

'cause we've been through that before,

From tonight I know that you're the only one,

I've been confused and in the dark,

Now I understand,

I wonder why it is,

I don't argue like this,

With anyone but you,

I wonder why it is,

I wont let my guard down,

For anyone but you

We do it all the time,

Blowing out my mind,

Just like a star across my sky,

Just like an angel off the page,

You have appeared to my life,

Feel like I'll never be the same

Just like a song in my heart

Just like oil on my hands

yay!! i beat 2 people in pool last saturday..huahahaha... yup, Dyta the amateur pool player has defeated Mas Eja & Getta in a nine ball bilyard competition...n_n!!

well, it wasn't really a competition, we were bored & lost & didn't have any ideas to do saturday nite, so nadya suggested us to play pool.. so, we went to Shoot and played.. being a very bery amateur player as i am (i've only played like 2 times..and believe me, i really suck.), just for the fun of it, i played against mas eja.. and won!!! huahahaha.. actually, he put in most of the balls (actually, i think all of'em), but the last ball he failed, so eventually, i put in the nin ball, and won..yeah yeah yeah...

with getta, well, because both of us cant play (even though she's a better player than me), after about over half an hour of nine ball..i finally won..

hhmmm...nice nite..n_n!

dont u just hate it when u go shopping to the grocery store and get a bad shopping cart? i dont know if it's just plain bad luck or the supermarkets just have a bad vibe on me, but i always tend to get a bad cart when shopping. either if its the wheels are jammed, dont turn well, or the little basket in the cart is gone!! ughh.....

David Cook wins!!! yeaahh.. finally a rocker wins the competition..=)

After mourning with michael john's elimination, my vote definitely went to cook.. a rocker who really knows what he's doing & brave enough to take chances.. let's say like in billie jean and the final song he sung 'the world i know'..

dont mean to say archuletta is not good though.. he has a great voice, but his songs are quite monotomous and i guess he's too young to handle all the things if he wins (didn't you see when simon said he ruled the whole competition? he looks like he was about to collapse of exitement!)

Anyways, congrats to Cook, you deserve it..

everybody i know seems to be getting married these days.. my brother dany is getting married in october, my bestfriend kiky is getting married next week, two of my exes are getting married in august (why should it be in the same month?), my neighbour(s) are getting married..

should it pressure me? well, probably not.. but here in Indonesia, in the 'east culture' people seem to still think that women have to get married in a young age.. at least, not more than 25 years old, or else, you'll be called an old virgin. that hurts. you know, regarding that i'm currently 25 years old, and my marriage plans are still quite a blur..

so, i guess, yes, it does pressure me once in a while.. i mean, even my mom and dad(!) now always talks about marriage..maybe its just because the euphoria of preparing dany's marriage. i hope.

well, i guess, i should just go on with my life, live life the fullest, and see what goes on!!! ciayo!!!